Anything Goes Martial Art Match Making
by MsRecDirect
Summary: Who knew Happosai has a sister? And shes an expert of Anything Goes Martial Art Match Making! RanmaxAkane Not your average R&A romance ;)


**Disclaimer** : Not mine. Just taking the characters out for a test drive.

 **Mysterious Visitor**

The air was thick with the smell of rain. A flash of lightning lite the stormy sky. A dark form of a small old women riding on the back of a large Newfoundland dog is briefly visible on the streets of Nerima.

~R~

Happosai was organizing his latest hoard near by the Tendo table. Akane and Ranma were casually bickering while studying at the table, Kasumi was in the kitchen dinner for the family, Nabiki was watching television, and Genma and Soun were near by playing Go. All in all, a very typical Sunday afternoon.

Happosai took a long drink of his sake, when a sudden chill ran through him. His ears had begun to burn. He suddenly looked at the clock, which read '2:50pm'. "Got to go!", the old man suddenly shouted, as he hurriedly began to gather his things. The Tendo's and Saotome's stared as they watch him run around.

"What is it master?" Soun asked, "What do you sense?"

"A great evil I haven't sensed in 20 years," Happosai responded putting he handkerchief around his head, "and if you know whats good for ya, you'll run!"

Just as he was about to run with his bag on his back a voice called out "oooohhhhh Happi!" coming from the front entrance

Happosai slumped his shoulders, "to late."

He quickly hid the bag under the table and discarded his mask, and sat next to Akane trying to look innocent. The family blinked twice in unison.

An older women on the back a great black dog strolled into the Tendo's living room. "Sorry to just barge in like that! It's about to rain and these old bones can't handle the damp like they used to. Get over here Happi and give me some sugar!"

Kasumi was the only one unfazed about the situation, "Welcome to our home. Can I get you some tea? Supper will be ready shortly."

"Sounds fine girly. And a cup of sake for Rover. He's chilled to the bone."

Happosai walked over to the old women and gave her a large hug, "Little sister!"

"Sister?" they cried out in unison.

Akane turned to Ranma and whispered, "Did you know Grandfather Happosai had a sister?"

Ranma shook his head, "nope."

Genma and Sound got up suddenly, and immediately bowed at the old ladies feet, "Mother Yúntūn! Welcome!" they sputtered.

"My boys!" Yúntūn pinched both of their bottoms causing the two men to leap up shuddering.

"She's just as much of a pervert as the old man!" Ranma said.

Ranma's declaration caused the old women's attention to turn to him, "who are you calling a pervert?" She leaped over to him. "Ooohh! What a handsome man!" and she pinched his bottom causing Ranma to shriek and leap out of the way."

"That's my son Ranma. He's almost 18" Genma said rubbing the small bruise now forming.

Soun nodded, "and these are my girls Kasumi aged 20, Nabiki aged 18, and Akane aged 17."

"Ooohh! Marrying age!"

"What are you doing here?" Happosai asked lighting his pipe.

Yúntūn sat down at the table, first snatching the pipe from her brothers' hands. She threw it into the pond. "Can't family visit? I had heard you were staying here, big brother with your former pupils. And thought I might be of some assistance."

The family joined her around the table, "assistance with what exactly?" Nabiki asked.

"Nodoka sent word months ago of a failed wedding attempt between your children. And I couldn't help but feel a little hurt boys, not being invited let alone left out of the preparations".

"Preparations?" Nabiki, Ranma and Akane asked at the same time.

Happosai and Yúntūn took simultaneous deep sips of tea.

"My sister is trained in the ancient art of Anything Goes Martial Art Match Making", Happosai replied in his 'mysterious' voice, "goes back 2000 years when martial art masters needed their pupils to have strong offspring to carry on the practices."

"I am the matriarch of the Anything Goes School of Indiscriminate Grappling. I have spent the past 100 years matching the finest martial artists to the most effective of marriages. I was responsible for the matches between Soun and Kimiko, and between Genma and Nodoka," Yúntūn threw her cup in despair and wailed, "and now you dishonor me by arranging your Ranma and your Akane without consulting me! Waaaaahhhhhhh!" the dog howled, matching his owners cries.

Kasumi comforted the old women, "there there," she said patting Yúntūn on the back.

"We did what we thought you wanted!" Soun attempted to reassure, "we were just trying to combine the schools like we had planned."

Genma nodded feverously, "that's right!"

"Shut up Old Man," Ranma retorted, "you weren't thinking of combining the schools when you sold me off for rice or noodle bowls."

"Sold?" Yúntūn sniffed, stopping her tears, "you mean there are other fiancés?"

Ranma began to feel nervous, "well sorta."

Akane looked annoyed, "there's Shampoo who claims some sort of right; part of some sort of Chinese Amazon tradition. And Ukyo, who Mr. Saotome had arraigned to marry Ranma to get an okonomiyaki cart for. Plus a few others who randomly turn up."

Nabiki piped in, "and don't forget Kodachi who also is obsessed. Akane also has a few bees buzzing around too."

"Hey! I didn't ask for this! Don't get me involved."

"Ooohh! So I am needed! I'll get started right away! Rover, fetch me my bag!"

"Hey wait a second! Akane and I never asked for any of this arraignment stuff. I really wish you guys would butt out," Ranma said sounding more and more annoyed.

Yúntūn gave Ranma big sad eyes and pouted, "So you are telling me I am unwanted? You already chose a bride?"

"Oh man! Don't cry again!" Ranma pleaded, "I didn't say that. I just mean I don't wanna get married yet. To anybody!"

The old women leaped into the young man's arms and began to nuzzle his neck, "you wouldn't deny and old women this one pleasure?"

"Ahh! Get off of me!"

"Ranma you pervert!" Akane cried pulling the pig-tailed man away from the women, "she's old enough to be your great-great grandmother." Ranma then went flying to the rain, where he instantly turned into his female form.

"What did ya do that for?! She's was hugging _me_! Not the other way 'round" Ran-chan cried.

"Aww poor Ranma!" Happosai leaped into the young woman's chest, and began to nuzzle her neck, "Here try this on; it'll make you feel better," Happosai pulled out a lacy bra. Ran-chan screech and attempted to throw Happosai off of her.

"Ooohh! Is that the curse of Jusenkyo?"

"Grandmother, you know of Jusenkyo?" Akane asked.

"Oh yes, I spent the past 80 years wandering China on and off. Learning many of her secretes. Jusenkyo is one of her many mysteries I had the honor of studying. I even arraigned the marriage of the guide there. Nice man. Has a sweet little girl now. This does complicate things. Happi! Get off the poor man and get in here. I have work to do! Ooohh!" Rover walked in with the bag in his mouth. Yúntūn jumped onto his back, "Come with me Happi!" Happosai joined his sister on the back of the Newfoundland, "I shall return tomorrow! Meet me in the dojo at 1pm. Bring any fiancé you two have, or claims to have on you. Ooohh! My biggest challenge yet!"

~R~

Hi again! Just another story that keeps popping into my head. Trying to stay in character as much as possible. And in case anyone is wondering, yes it will be a typical pairing. BUT I am really tired of reading flowery not-in-character situations and declarations of feelings. We all know they love each other, but at the end of the day they were 16 and stupid. Which is why my story is set about 6 months to a year after the failed wedding. Hopefully they have matured just a little.

Just like with "A Path Less Taken", updates will be random and slow.

Read, Review, and enjoy!

ps: looking for a beta...can anyone help me out?


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